Someone was sobbing at the top of the stairs. Great, big, heart-breaking sobs.
“Kyle?” I knew my son’s voice, but it wasn’t like him to cry this hard.
“Come here, sweetie. What’s wrong?”
He flew into the living room, and threw himself into my arms.
“I miss my mom!” He choked the words out between sobs.
You see, Kyle is my son. But I am his second mom. His first mom, Cathy, had died of breast cancer when he was only six.
She was the one who rocked him as a baby. She was the one who comforted him when he cried. And she was the one who shared pizza with him and his brother as they watched the Chargers football game. There was a lot of hurt tied up in Kyle’s now 8-year-old heart.
The television show we had just watched chronicled the journey of one character whose friends died in a car accident. Obviously, it brought up a lot of fresh emotion.
“Why did God let her die?”
I couldn’t answer that question, so I just held him as he cried out his hurt and his sorrow and his questions. I cried, too. Cathy had been a good friend of mine, and her death was also a loss for me.
As his tears started to ease, we began reminiscing about her. The way she let the boys stay up late on Friday nights so they could watch their favorite tv show together. The way she was so excited to give birth to Lisa, her third baby and first little girl. The way she loved Jesus, and encouraged her kids to love Him, too. Best of all, we talked about the day we will see her again, in heaven.
Suddenly, the tears erupted again as Kyle launched himself back into my arms.
“I’m sorry my mom died. But I’m so glad God let you be my mom now.”
So am I, Kyle. So am I.
In the same way, I have often run into my Father’s arms, weeping. When my first husband chose drugs over his family. When each of my kids went away to college. When my dad died.
He lets me weep. He listens to my hurt. He hears my questions. He is with me in my pain. And when I am ready, He tenderly speaks truth to me.
The truth that He loves me. (Jeremiah 31:3) His love will never change, because He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)
He will never leave or forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5)
His plans for me are good (Jeremiah 29:11), regardless of how I feel at the moment.
In response my heart cries out “In you, Lord, I have taken refuge… Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me.” (Psalm 31:1-3)
As a good Father, He delights in that kind of prayer. I find that I, like Kyle, “have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.” (Psalm 131:2) Trusting in His character and His plans restore peace to my heart.
Though I may never know the answers to Kyle’s questions, or mine, I rest in the knowledge that He is enough.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
1. Pull out your favorite concordance (or online Bible resource) and look up several verses on “comfort.”
2. Has there ever been a time when you experienced God’s comfort as described in these verses?
3. Write down your prayer of gratitude to God for His comfort.
Father, thank You that You are with me when I hurt. Thank you that You bring comfort that is rooted in the truth of who You are and in Your love for me. Thank You that You are enough, even when my questions are not answered.